The Model We've Been Missing
Why the Real Jesus Is Still the Model for Men
“Jesus reveals what it means to be truly human.”
—N.T. Wright
There's a crisis of manhood in our world today.
Culture offers endless examples of manhood, most of which portray men as either aggressive or apathetic, which are not traits that describe Jesus.
And truthfully?
The church hasn't done any better.
For many men, Jesus doesn't feel like a compelling example of masculinity. Not because of who He is, but because of how He's been presented.
We've inherited two extremes.
One too soft. The other too severe.
Both distort who Jesus really is.
In this month's feature article, I want to expose the two extremes and conclude by offering a path back to the Jesus of the Scriptures in the Work These Words section.
1. The Over-Feminized Jesus
In some Christian spaces, Jesus has been reduced to someone soft-spoken, emotionally fragile, and oddly romantic.
The goal was to emphasize His compassion. But somewhere along the way, we erased His courage.
We were left with a Jesus who was kind but not commanding.
And for many men raised in environments where survival required strength, this version of Jesus feels disconnected from reality.
But this over-feminized version is not the Jesus of Scripture.
The Gospels reveal a man who could cradle children and confront kings.
A man who wept and warned.
A man who healed and flipped tables.
A man who moved with humility but never backed down from hostility.
Let’s rediscover that Jesus.
2. The Hyper-Masculine, Patriarchal Jesus
On the opposite end is the Jesus shaped by segments of white evangelicalism, one who is conservative, combative, and yet conveniently silent on systems of power.
In this version, Jesus upholds patriarchy, fuels culture wars, and props up political agendas.
He’s more mascot than Messiah.
“To many black Christians, evangelicalism had become ‘a white religious brand.’”
-Kristin Kobes Du Mez, Jesus & John Wayne
Historically, this framing took root in post-war American Christianity, where masculinity was tied to nationalism, hierarchy, and gender control.
It was less about Christ-likeness and more about control.
But again, this version isn’t the Jesus of Scripture.
Jesus didn’t enforce cultural norms. He subverted them.
He welcomed women into discipleship.
He rejected power plays among His followers.
He defined greatness not by status but by service.
Let’s rediscover that Jesus.
Work These Words
So, men, what does healthy masculinity look like?
It looks like Jesus.
The only man who ever fully reflected the image of God.
Jesus teaches us that to be a man is to be:
1. Rooted in Identity
Jesus lived from the Father’s affirmation, not for the world’s validation.
And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” —Matthew 3:17 NIV
2. Secure in Service
Jesus laid down His life. Not as an act of weakness, but a sign of strength.
just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” —Matthew 20:28 NIV
3. Driven by Purpose
Jesus knew who He was, what He came to do, and didn’t flinch when the stakes were high.
“You are a king, then!” said Pilate. Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. In fact, the reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.” —John 18:37 NIV
If the Jesus you walked away from seemed too soft or too severe, you weren’t wrong to leave. You were shown the wrong man.
Come back.
Jesus is not just the Savior of men.
Jesus is the model for men.